Pool Fool Gets Schooled

A Florida man took “whatever floats your boat” a little too far last week when he stole dozens of pool floats because he was romantically aroused by the idea of getting it on with them.

Christopher Monnin was detained by Palm Bay police in the wee hours of Thursday morning after he was spotted “acting suspiciously” in a residential area. The 35-year-old was lurking in the yard of a home, carrying a white trash bag holding two of the floats — and when pressed, he took officers to a storage space where he’d stashed more than 70 others.

Monnin told authorities that he “sexually gratifies himself” with the pool floats instead of assaulting women, an excuse that didn’t keep him out of jail. (WFLA)