KRISTEN STEWART: LOVE, LIES… FAPPENING?
Written by Ariel Newbold on March 18, 2024
Police arrested a man for “indecent exposure” watching Kristen Stewart’s new movie, Love Lies Bleeding. The crime thriller has several erotic lesbian scenes of Stewart with bodybuilder Katy O’Brian. 
Patrons called 911 because the dude passed out in theater recliner seat. His jeans were wide open and a hand on his exposed crotch. A moviegoer shared on social media a NSFW photo of the creep (quote) “Went to go see Love Lies Bleeding and this drunk guy jerked himself off to sleep.”
The police reported that the 33-year-old guy was “taken into custody for possession of narcotics, indecent exposure, disorderly conduct and resisting arrest.” (People)
Hot Takes:
- Men always fall asleep so quickly after sex.
- This was Detroit Michigan, not Texas where PornHub has been disabled over age-verification issues.
- In his defense, those recliners are comfy. It’s tempting to snooze especially at the late screening.
- Ask any movie theater employee, nasty stuff happens once the lights go down OR, in Bahamian terms, after dark – Jurassic Park!
- For for him to go sleep afterwards like that, atleast they can be sure of two things: the movie was either really bad, or REALLY good!
