Lady Gaga Reveals She Got Pregnant At 19 After Being Raped

In the premiere episode of “The Me You Can’t See,” a new docuseries co-created by Oprah Winfrey and Prince Harry that aims to tackle the stigma around mental health, superstar Lady Gaga bravely opened up about her past pain and trauma. During the episode, Gaga talked about being sexually assaulted as a teenager, revealing she suffered a “total psychotic break” years after being left pregnant by her alleged rapist. While recalling her harrowing experience through tears, Gaga explained, “I was 19 years old, and I was working in the business, and a producer said to me, ‘Take your clothes off,’” she recalled.

During the episode, Gaga also discussed having impulses to self-harm: “It’s a really very real thing to feel like there’s a black cloud following you wherever you go, telling you that you’re worthless and should die. And I used to scream and throw myself against the wall.” She explained, “You know why it’s not good to cut? You know why it’s not good to throw yourself against the wall? You know why it’s not good to self-harm? Because it makes you feel worse. You think you’re going to feel better because you’re showing somebody, ‘Hey, look, I’m in pain.’ It doesn’t help. I always tell people ‘Tell somebody, don’t show somebody.’”

At 35, Gaga is still working on healing and her process involves “trying to make sure I give back with that experience, instead of, I don’t know, locking it away and faking it.”